2018 - A Year in Our Life Filled with Love and Love filled with Life
2018 is wrapped up and we are already in the middle of January 2019!
Is everything really wrapped up?
2018 was a year with highlights and challenges. We walked through an intense season of anxiety with our daughter Dominique and other medical emergencies with some of our family members. We also received unexpected blessings through amazing people that God put into our life for support and encouragement.
We found new friendships, deepened older ones, lost a loved one and explored new territories with our precious DeeDee Speedy. Our oldest son graduated from UF and he and his wife moved to Dallas, Texas. Our other son started his career as a professional figure skater at Busch Gardens and moved into his own apartment.
In all of this, I launched Porchralkgirl.com and followed my calling that the Lord put on my heart several years ago. I don’t know about you, but looking back at 2018 I realize that it was a year that stretched me in every possible way. A year in our life filled with love and love filled with life.
2018 - A Year to Let Go
2018 was a year I often fell on my knees weary from the many battles we were facing. I know that many of you were in very similar situations. Looking back on the events of 2018, I realize God was teaching me to LET GO. I found myself often struggling to find an appropriate balance of love and concern for others and resisting my impulse to take over a situation. My faith and trust in the Lord were extremely challenged.
I recently read that often parents who take their parenting roles most seriously and do a great job at it, struggle most to LET GO. At the heart of our problem of letting go of our children is the deep root of fear. The world is a scary place and we hear daily numerous stories of all the terrible things happening around us.
THE LORD - MY SOLID ROCK
As with so many things in my walk as a believer, my ability to LET GO of my children, my father-in-law and the reoccurrence of my daughter’s anxieties totally depend on how well I know the Lord. I know that every time I draw closer to Him by spending time in His Word and prayers He draws closer to me. In the midst of the big and small emergencies, my heart wants to hold on to God’s promises that He won’t test me beyond my ability to bear it (1 Corinthians 10:13). I can hold on to His anchor of hope and stability.
I quickly come to realize that in order to hold on to His promises and hope I have to surrender everything. I switch from fixing my eyes on the overwhelming circumstances to His truth that He will never leave nor forsake me and use all things for my good. One of our pastors once said:”Don’t tell Jesus about your mountain, instead tell your mountain about Jesus.” In Matthew 21:21 Jesus told the disciples:”Truly I tell you, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done.”
My lack of sufficient faith in Him and His purposes for our children and others got me stuck in the unwillingness to completely surrender and LET GO of them. As soon as I surrender, I basically get out of His way to do what only He can do in their hearts and bring healing and restoration. Only then will they start to depend solely on Him and grow deeper in their relationship with the Lord. At the same time, He uses these emergencies to deepen my relationship with Him and strengthen my faith. Psalm 18:2 tells us:” The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield the power that saves me, and my place of safety.”
Letting go means turning them over to our heavenly Father who loves them more than we ever could. He will guide and guard them according to His perfect will. The more faith we have in the Lord, the easier it will be to LET GO.
FINAL WRAP UP OF 2018
Needless to say, we needed a slow start and extra time to rethink and process. (mommy recharge and regroup break) I stepped away from my natural inclination of writing out goals and creating checklists and moved back from “the Human Doer” to my designed human being state.
When 2019 knocked at our front door, I carried two hearts beating inside of me. One that was eager to rip the door wide open to invite 2019 in and the other that was very fearful to welcome and embrace the new and unknown.
YEAR BOOK 2019
The empty pages of our 2019 Year Book invite me to focus on His assignments and to be present in the special moments that He has planned and strategically coordinated. 2019 is the year to embrace His plans and steer away from distractions. 2019 is also the year to simplify and stay alert for the abundant blessings that pop up unannounced in the spur of a moment.
2019 will mean for the blog that I will share with you more often about our life filled with love and special moments in a sweet and more condensed version. I call these blogs simply “Porchtalk E(x)presso.
The great part about these shorter blogs is that they allow me to keep up with my special needs princess and the blogger life. This year I will focus on helping our sweet girl to overcome her anxieties faster and venturing out into new territories with her to discover the beauty of God’s amazing creation. She is a curious young lady who loves to learn but her fear is holding her back. She cannot explore and enjoy life the way we do.
Do you also get into God’s way by taking control of situations without inviting Him in?
Do you struggle to let go of your children and trust the Lord?
How do you face your fears in challenging situations?